Lucy's Guilt
by gingerxgoddess
Summary: A short one-shot that is based on after the Tartaros guild when Fairy Tail gets back together. Lucy decides on not telling anyone about Aquarius disappearance. She still blames herself but she pretends to be happy. One day the topic is brought up and Lucy feels that intense guilt again so she decided to go home, but what happens when there are people who follow her?


**Hey guys, so I've been having this idea for a while for this fanfiction, it has minor Gruvia and Nalu but it's mainly focused on Juvia and Lucy themselves…I hope y'all like it and if you do can you leave a like or review? Love you all for all the support you guys have been giving me on my story** _ **'As the years go on'**_

 _-Lucy's P.O.V.-_

It's been a couple months since Natsu and I have brought Fairy Tail back together, things returned to normal except the fact that Erza is our new guild master. I'm honestly surprised that Laxus didn't take the position, but I guess it's because of his change of heart ever since his last outburst against Fairy Tail.

Everyone is so lively and happy.

Although….

I can't take my mind off of the day I sacrificed Aquarius in Tartaros.

I killed her.

It still hurt so, so much, but I can't bring myself to tell anyone because so many people suffered that day like Juvia, Gray, Gajeel, Wendy, Erza, and Natsu…. especially Natsu because he had to watch Igneel die right before his eyes. That is why I won't bother anyone with my problems because I am not as strong as them, so they matter more than me…they are amazing and I'm just a weakling. I always feel like crying, but I need to save those tears for another time, I can't let them see my pain.

Currently, I am at the guild in my usual spot at a table with happy and Natsu while they both stuff their faces. I fake a smile while I am talking to them about a random conversation. Gray is at another table while talking with Juvia and he isn't trying to ignore her anymore which makes me happy that their relationship is improving. Erza is at the bar with Mirajane while she is enjoying her daily strawberry cake. Levy and Gajeel are sitting together and they are reading a book together, they are always denying that they have feelings, but it is completely obvious they like each other. Everything was going fine until Droy and Jet start arguing with Alzack about if Levy and I battle each other that Levy will surely win. I honestly don't even know why my name is getting brought up, but I really don't care so I ignore them. Natsu and Happy look annoyed at them so the pinkette yelled over his shoulder, "WHAT YA TALKING ABOUT?! LUCY IS SO STRONG SHE WILL WIN ANYDAY!" Natsu yelled but showed his toothy grin while he looked back at me and that caused me to let out a giggle. I know that Levy and I will never fight because we are best friends. Levy buts in to the argument, "I would never fight Lu, but I bet she would win because she is super strong" Levy said with a sweat drop from Droy and Jet's constant

"Yeah I bet Lucy would win! Levy is strong and all but if Lucy brought Loke or Aquarius out I would surely be a goner, plus she unlocked a extremely powerful spell with those star dresses of hers…LUCY IS A REAL MAN" Elfman said. Gray and Juvia laughed knowing that they wouldn't want to get in a fight with Aquarius. There were some laughs from the random argument, but there was no laughing from me. "Yeah, Aquarius would kick anyone's butt and bring me yummy fishies!" Happy yells out cheerfully.

Guilt was now rushing over me, I balled my fists and lower my head, so my bangs hid my eyes that were holding tears now. Thankfully, my expression goes unnoticed, but sadly he noticed my expression.

"Luce, what's wrong?" Natsu said

I look up and fake a smile, "Haha, it's nothing!" I said and let out a giggle.

"Don't cry Lucy, I can tell when you're sad" he said with worried eyes now. Dang Natsu, sometimes I hate that he knows me so well, but I appreciate that he cares for me so much and that is why I fell in love with him.

I shrug my shoulders, "Ah, I just have been feeling a bit under the weather lately so I'm just going to go ahead and go home" I said, stood up and waved to him goodbye.

I was able to get out of the guild unnoticed, but once I was outside I noticed that Erza, Wendy, Gray, Juvia, and Natsu followed me out. I try to ignore the fact and just walk away, "Lucy!" Erza said in a demanding voice, causing for me to shake and turn around with a sweat mark over my head. "Hey gu-guys, wha-ats u-up?" Erza walked over to me and gently grabbed my shoulder, "We're your friends and we care about you, please tell us what happened" She said with sad eyes.

Happy flew into my chest and hugged me. "Lucy, we have noticed that you have been sad for a long time but Natsu told me not to ask you about it" the exceed said, surprising me so I decided to lightly but my arms around him.

"I told him not to ask because I know you and how stubborn you are, I knew you have been crying yourself to sleep every night because I could smell your tears…that's why I have been sleeping at your apartment ever since I noticed." Natsu said with a sad and concerned face, a face I've only seen when he watched the future me and Igneel died. I froze with surprise and I can feel tears in my eyes. Gray walked up with Juvia but didn't say anything.

I look down, trying to hide the tears, "I...I ki-killed he-r" I said between sobs.  
"Wh-who did you kill?" Wendy said.

"While I was fighting with Jackal and Torafuzer while all of you guys were stuck in Mard Geer's purgatory curse. I killed her, so I could summon the Celestial King who released all of you from the curse" I said but was still choking on my words. Everyone said with pure shock and some of them put their hands over their mouths. All the girls had little tears in their eyes, both Natsu and Gray had wide eyes. I didn't want to tell them because I didn't want them to pity, to see me as weaker because I had to sacrifice someone to get them out while they would be able to break the curse without having to take a life.

"Wh-why didn't you tell us" Natsu said starting to walk towards me but I stepped backwards and Happy let go of me. "Lu-"

"Because I didn't want you guys to look down on me or pity me!" I said raising my voice, "I am weak because I needed to sacrifice her while you guys could save everyone without having to sacrifice anyone... I AM THE WEAK ONE HERE AND I WISH I WAS THE ONE WHO DIED INSTEAD OF HER!" I yelled the last part and I fell onto my knees because I don't have the strength to stand. I put my face into my hands and started to sob louder, not being able to stop myself.

"Lucy yo-" Natsu yelled out but interrupted so I looked up, and I was surprised from what I saw. Juvia raised her hand in front of Natsu and then started to walk towards me. She knelt down with a look of sadness, "Don't you dare say that you were the one who was supposed to die! We are alive because of you and don't beat yourself up about that. Yes, you had to sacrifice someone who you loved so dearly…But you weren't the only one who had to kill someone in Tartaros!" Juvia said with tears falling down her face. "Juvia also had to kill someone who was dear to Gray-Sama. Juvia had to kill Gray-Sama's Father! I know the pain you are going through" Juvia said and brought me into a tight hug.

"It is because of Lucy that we are alive and breathing right now and don't forget that, we all love you, Juvia loves Lucy because she's the first girl who was ever nice to Juvia! We would all be so sad if Lucy was dead and none of us would forgive ourselves if Lucy sacrificed herself to safe all of us." Juvia said, pulling me tighter into the hug and I started to hug her back. "Sometimes it is necessary to sacrifice something to save others." Juvia and I were now sobbing uncontrollably now.

Everyone walked up to us, all with tears in their eyes.

"Lucy, if you died…I don't know if I could ever be happy again knowing that I couldn't be able to help you. You are one of my best friends and I hate that you are suffering. You are so strong and optimistic, you care about everyone…even the ones who have beaten you and almost killed you. You are stronger then me emotionally" Erza said sobbing and shaking. Gray walked forward, "Erza is right, you did so much to save everyone and Aquarius wouldn't want you to die because you still have so many people that love you here, your spirits love you. They even have told you that you are the best master that they ever had because you don't treat them like tolls…you treat them like family and they need you…we need you" Gray said and joined the hug while Erza did the same. "You are our Lucy, and Fairy Tail just wouldn't be the same without you! I love you so much Lucy!" Happy flew up and hugged my neck. "Lucy, you are like a big sister to me and I don't want you to leave. We are sad when you are sad because you are family!" Wendy said and ran up to me. Everyone kept me in a hug that lasted for a long time. Well, everyone is in the hug except for Natsu, everyone starts to back up a bit, but they are still kneeling besides my side.

"Lucy don't ever say that you should die or that you are weak…being physically strong doesn't matter at all! You are one of the strongest people in Fairy Tail when it comes to your love and compassion for anyone. You are also strong physically and you get stronger every day! We all have trained our whole lives when you learned your magic all by yourself! You were alone as a kid while we grew surrounded by others. Your Mother died, and your Father treated you badly, but you still smiled and worked hard to sustain for yourself. When he died, you still loved him with all your heart and kept your smile on your face. Lucy, I would never be able to forgive myself if you died, I hate that I left you for a year but I had too, so I can protect everybody, so I could protect you. You are my Lucy and I will protect you with my life because if you left I wouldn't be able to live with myself. We all love you Luce, I love you so please, let it all out because we still need to go on more adventures. And don't you worry because I am not going anywhere, because we will be together forever" Natsu now said crying as much as everyone else. He hugged me tightly and everyone all came in, not letting me out of this hug…but I didn't mind…because it was so

Warm.

A warmth and comfort I haven't felt for a very long time.

I promise.

I promise to protect all of you as much as I can.

And I promise that I will not give up

…because…

Now

I will live for my _friends_

…no…

I will live for my _family_

 **Heyooo, I know that was a short story for me, but I was going through a panic attack while I was writing this part and I've had this idea between Juvia and Lucy for a long time, but was too busy on writing it and publishing it. As I said, if y'all enjoyed this please give it a like or review.**

 **I love everyone of you guys you who reads my stories, it really means a lot that people like the ideas I have come up with. 3**


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